My Hair: the Myth, the Legend
February 7, 2024 marked 5 whole years having fashion colors in my hair!
For most of my life, I feel like my hair has held such close importance to me. I was one of those kids who had it cut traumatically short at a super young age and have definitely given my hair an inflated value since.
My hair is naturally dark which has also always been a pain point for me. Like a lot of people, my Mom was the beauty standard for me growing up, and she happened to have blonde hair for most of my life. I also grew up with Barbie and Britney Spears as my inspiration so I have always been acutely aware of my hair color and always wished it could be different. For a long time I felt like the options were blonde, red, and dark; throughout High School and college I rotated between the 3, but I was never really satisfied with any of them.
Concurrently, I was a huge weeb, and in the anime world no hair color was off limits. I always wrote off fashion colors in my teens and early twenties because the quality of the dyes was so bad and brands were limited. I'd see people do them, look good for maybe a week, and then experience serious fading. Even just a slightly faded pink especially always looked like a salmon color which was super unappealing to me. At one point when I was in college, I dyed the tips of my hair pink and purple, but it faded relatively fast and left my hair pretty damaged. When it came to committing to a full scalp dye, I always made excuses because I "didn't wanna damage my hair" and "wanted to come across professional." Although I had written it off in my mind, I secretly wanted it so much.
So February 7, 2019, my hair was bleached to a pretty light blonde, but I wasn't sold on the color. I was stuck between an ashy platinum or rose-gold color. Basically I wanted it to look natural enough in a corporate setting that no one would bat an eye. I ended up going for a consultation with a local stylist after having done very little research. Since my hair had already been dyed pretty light, they assured me we could get it to rose gold relatively easily. I woefully lamented that I really wanted a pastel pink, but the conservative nature of the company I worked with at the time wouldn't allow it. I made a point to say that I hoped I could do it one day though.
Now, I don't know if it was a miscommunication or if my hair was so porous that it soaked in the color really quickly, but long story short I ended my session after coming in for a consultation with pastel pink hair. For the first time in my life, I felt like me. It was such a powerful moment and I was overwhelmed with emotion. The problem was-- it was a Thursday.. I had work the next day and it was 11pm.
As a mostly ex-cosplayer I had a storage bin full of wigs, and found one that was pretty close to what my hair looked like at the time. I worriedly went into the office the next day, ready to get an earful from my very vocal and judgmental boss. The plan was simple: let the color wash out after two weeks, go back to blonde and pretend it never happened.
But instead, he said nothing. No one did. So if it didn’t matter, and I kept it hidden, there was only one option: I’d keep it. Leading up to that moment I was coming off of some serious self hatred issues and I was just beginning to really express my personal style. This was exactly what I didn’t know I needed to take that to the next level.
Anyway. It turned out my hair was a big deal at work, and my boss never once spoke to me about it. Instead, he made a point to make my life miserable, took away my responsibilities, publicly humiliate me, and treated me like absolute shit. Although my Instagram was private at the time, a few people from work followed me and allegedly told him, because he never once saw my pink hair in person. It wasn’t until I found a new job that another coworker told me that he was trying to find ways to get me fired but I was protected by the handbook, essentially this was his retaliation. This boss went as far as pressuring another colleague to tell me to dye it back to my natural color to “advance my career.”
It was a sad way to end that chapter of my life, but it brought me into the arms of the company I work for now which was such a blessing. Every single person in my old department was laid off in 2020, and that could have been me if I stayed. I know for a fact I wouldn’t have even looked for something new if it wasn’t for this catalyst. So yes, another reason to hold my hair in such high regard. I’m a Leo Rising after all.
Instead I get to be around people who are so kind and supportive of me and my hair color to the point that it makes me emotional. I went from someone who hated my hair color so much and wanted to sabotage me, to a boss who told me that pastel pink was his favorite color of the many I’ve done over the years. When I went back to pink in 2022, he literally said: “you’re back, finally.” I’ve had coworkers tell me that they were inspired by the color and take the plunge, and even feel safe enough interviewing at our company where they allow bright hair. Last week I had a senior leader at my company tell me how her daughter recently dyed a pink streak in her hair and got to show her that there are professional adults who have hair like that too using my picture.
My grandpa has come around to my hair color but every now and then he will ask me the million dollar question (literally):
“Shauna, would you dye your hair back to normal if a company paid you a million dollars a year ?”
To which I will always say absolutely not. If they don’t accept me for who I am right off the bat, it’s already a horrible start. I spend more time at work than anywhere else, why would I wanna be somewhere where people openly don’t accept and support me? My mental health is so much more important.
“Things to know if you want to start coloring your hair with fashion colors:”
Understand the Financial Burden
Sure, you can do a fashion color at home, but if it’s your first time I wouldn’t recommend it, especially with bleaching.
If you are on a budget, I would recommend keeping a “shadow root” in your hair, or doing an ombre to start. This way, growth is less noticeable and you’ll only have to worry about maintaining fade. You can also get some streaks or “money pieces” if you are trying to save some money.
If you do choose the route of a full scalp bleach (which is what I do), it is gonna be a time and money commitment for sure. Every 6-8 weeks you need to return to the salon for a root touch up. Although it obviously improves aesthetics because you don’t have roots, it also prevents color banding. In short, if you let your roots grow too long, the heat from your scalp won’t warm the hair evenly and you will get some nasty bands in your hair (see article).
Every color session and even a root touch up session requires at least two different services. Depending on where you live, your hair length, thickness and texture, it can get really pricey. At least a couple hundred per session, and (tip your stylist generously!)
Know what you want:
It seems like an annoying first step, but booking a consultation is crucial to make sure you and your stylist are on the same page. If you have longer hair that you’ve been coloring for years, try to think back to all of the color treatments you’ve done over the past 5 years at least. These colors in your hair could affect how bleaches and dyes react to your hair, and if you’re not fully honest your hair will be the ultimate polygraph test and rat you out. I know you don’t want to admit the black box dye mistake from 2 years ago but if the stylist knows it’s in there beforehand, they can take necessary precautions. If you aren’t upfront, it could take so much time (and money) to correct these reactions, and you may end up with hair you are unhappy with.
Most likely, you’re going to have to bleach your hair to some extent. Make that point known right off the bat, so that you are booking the proper amount of time. I have made the mistake of not making that clear in the past, and the stylist only had time to put color over my dark hair, leaving me unhappy. Keep in mind that bleach and color are two separate services, and are done one after the other— so try not to make plans too close to your appointment time. The rule of thumb is the lighter the color you want, the lighter you’re going to have to lift your hair (it may also mean more damage). I always like to add that it is a lot easier to darken your hair if it’s too light, so I would recommend trying to go lighter if you are on the fence.
Booking the right stylist:
If you want a specific service done, you need to find someone with the proper skill-set to do it. In this case, that's colorful hair. There are a few ways to find the right stylist
Look up all of your local hair salons to see if any of them have stylists that do fashion color services. Ideally you want someone who specializes in fashion colors. It helps even more if you know someone local who has similar hair to yours to give stylist recommendations. These colors are complex and react differently to hair and chemicals than standard colors. If you are going to someone who doesn’t usually provide these services, they may not have the proper experience to give you the hair color you want, and it may look too bright or too natural.
Because everyone’s hair reacts differently, it may do something unexpected. I am not a professional by any means but I always like to ask a lot of questions, and I’ve learned a lot form my stylists. It’s important to have someone who understands that certain products turn hair green, and know what to do in these situations.
Every stylist has a color that they specialize in/do exceptionally well. Pay attention to this as well while making a selection. Obviously, this shouldn't be a deal breaker, but it helps to have someone who specializes and understands the complexities of pink hair if you're planning on going full pink.
Many stylists post "Before" Pictures of hair. This is THE most important thing to pay attention to. As a person with darker hair this is exceptionally important. A stylist may do really well with the colors you want, but they may be completed on a lighter hair color than yours. Naturally blonde hair and lighter brown hair are able to lighten to a level 11, which is nearly impossible on a darker hair color which can get to about 10.
It’s best to use a stylist’s own photos as a reference photo for color. This is because they know the exact hair texture, color, and history of that person’s specific hair as well as the exact products used. You’d be surprised how edited and filtered some photos on Google are, and those models may be starting out with much lighter or thicker hair than yours. Even some models on the hair dye boxes are wearing wigs or extensions which react differently to dye.
Listen to your Stylist
If your stylist tells you that something is going to take multiple sessions, or simply isn't possible, they aren't just making things up or trying to "up-sell" (most of the time).
Your hair health is crucial, so you need to prioritize it. Bleach is no joke and if you aren't careful you can do some serious long term damage to your locks. The darker your hair is, the more work the bleach is going to have to do--ie: the more damage you'll see in your hair. Dark blonde hair will just go blonde, but brown hair has to go from brown, pass through red/orange to then go blonde.
I have naturally strong hair that historically grew relatively quickly, and never used to have issues with breakage. Obviously this changed significantly once I started regularly processing my hair, and I honestly wasn't fully prepared for this change. For the longest time I didn't know what was happening, because I had never struggled with this issue my whole life. Now I have to take strong precautions.
Get regular trims
I know you don’t want to hear this. Trust me. I didn't want to hear this either. The longer you put off doing this, the worse your circumstances are gonna get. In 2021, my ends were getting stringy and my hair wasn’t growing much past a certain point. In case you're not aware, if you don't regularly cut your ends, each split end will divide even further up the strand, which will eventually cause it to snap off entirely. In a way you have to play the long game. You’re not gonna notice it the first few times but I promise you will look back and really see the difference.
Manage your expectations
If it’s your first time doing this, don’t be discouraged if it’s not perfect. Try to really assess your hair and see what changes you want to make. For example, my roots would sometimes come in very neon due to my hair’s porosity.
Your hair will most likely fade over time, so be mindful of this. This is especially true for pastel colors, because there is less color there to begin with.
Always remember that beneath your color is a yellow hair that oxidizes, and your fading hair color is going to be fighting with that. So if you have blue in your hair, it may start to turn green over time— or pink could turn orange.
Don't color hop too often
If you do, try to make gradual changes. Having to strip color also causes damage.
Look at a color wheel and see what colors are opposites; for example red and green. If you have red hair, I would recommend to avoid trying to go green or even blue right after. Stick to nearby colors first, maybe start with an orange or yellow.
If you can, try to let the color fade out as much as possible if you want to change colors. Utilize a clarifying shampoo if you want to speed this process up.
At home hair care!
Another thing you are sick of hearing! If you want to elongate your hair color you can take matters into your own hands.
Spend your money on high quality shampoo and conditioner. I use one specifically designed for colorful hair. I have been told sulfate free is the best route
If you are worried about fading, you can also invest in a color depositing shampoo or conditioner (Keep in mind that they do have some hair color in them, and may stain your shower/hands if you’re not careful). A lot of people use oVertone, but I used to use a Joico shampoo recommended by a former stylist. At the moment, I don’t experience fading, but I understand the struggle.
Rinse your hair with COLD water. It sucks but it really does the trick.
Limit heat on your hair, aka blow drying and styling products. I sometimes use rollers on damp hair and sleep in them, but if I use heat styling tools, I always use low heat and a protectant spray. High heat will cause color fading!
Prolong your washes— a little color will usually come out when you wash your hair, so frequent washes may cause some fading as well.
At the end of the day, my colorful hair is one of the most consistent relationships I’ve had in my life and I’m so grateful for the turn of events that made it possible. As I said before, I’ve never felt more like myself and I can’t wait to keep doing this for years to come.
I don’t exaggerate when I say that I get stopped on the street, the train, restaurants or whatever every day. People are so kind and always have questions about it, so I’d been meaning to write something up forever. I really could gush forever and ever. I love you, hair 🩷
